Finding Moments of Simplicity

Ok, sort of true. Actually, what we believe about stress can make us healthier, and happier. When I was teaching as an adjunct professor at GVSU, I consistently showed one Ted Talk that I thought all college students, especially future social workers, needed to watch. It is entitled “How to Make Stress Your Friend” (2013), given by health psychologist Kelly McGonigal, PhD, from Stanford University (video posted below). In this talk, Dr. McGonigal highlights the devastating effects stress can have on our bodies, especially our cardiovascular health. When we are experiencing chronic or acute moments of stress, our central nervous system is activated and adrenaline is released, initiating the well-known “fight or flight” response. This response can have negative consequences on our heart health, as well as our mood (anxiety and fear), and our brain’s ability to problem solve or think clearly. However, because our bodies are so wonderful, we also have a natural protective hormone that helps us stay relaxed in stress, known as oxytocin. Oxytocin counters the adrenaline response to create a desire for social support, connection, and comfort; potentially leading to positive effects of social bonding, stress regulation and improved mental health ( Olff et al., 2013 ). Once again, these positive effects are true for those who interpret, or believe, the physical cues of stress to be safe and helpful. As a practitioner of cognitive behavioral therapy, this concept rings true for me. How we frame events in our thoughts, including our body’s physiological responses, leads directly to corresponding emotions and behaviors. Therefore, stress has the potential to cause us anxiety, sickness, fear, obsessive worry, muscle tension and so on. It also offers the opportunity, if we become skilled at cognitive reframing, to lead us into deeper friendships, love, trust, connection, meaning, purpose, joy and even courage! So how do we take the oxytocin invitation, and reduce the impact of the adrenaline trap? To paraphrase Robert Frost, here is where we take the path less traveled, and it will make all the difference. In my experience as a therapist, the oxytocin path is the one less traveled. While it will likely take some significant cognitive reframing to reorient our interpretive thoughts, and often a trained therapist to guide us through some sections, here are three trail markers I’ve noticed along the way. Friendship People typically respond to stress in one of two ways: isolate or connect. The path less traveled here seems to be connection. So many of us are conditioned to lean into self-reliance, a strong work ethic, and a good smile to bear the impact of stressful challenges alone. This isolation can be very painful, and loneliness can exacerbate both depression and anxiety. We can learn, however, that the healthier and more effective response is to reach out and connect, to ask for help, and to enhance the protective benefits of oxytocin through deep, trusting relationships. Some of the best advice you can give a friend, or yourself, is that you don’t have to do it alone. Dr Carl Rogers, one of my all-time favorite therapists, established three core characteristics of relationships that are effective at creating connection and personal growth; genuineness, unconditional acceptance, and empathy (understanding). If you have a friend like this, ask them for a big hug and an hour to chat the next time you’re about to crash out! If you need more help, reach out to a therapist who is committed to connecting with clients by being genuine, accepting, and understanding. Faith In this context, I bring up faith to mean a connection to something larger than yourself. While many have specific religious interpretations and community practices around the word faith, I use it here in its broadest sense. Faith as in a trust, confidence, or allegiance to something. It’s what gives us meaning and purpose in life. We can have faith in a project, faith in an ideal or virtue, faith in a process or even our own capabilities. When stress hits hard, faith provides a bird’s eye view from which to look down on the stress and see it as temporary, or smaller than it feels in the moment. To have faith, to be connected, to the virtues, beliefs, or goals that we believe in most can function like a compass in a storm, and keep us moving in the direction we have chosen. Instead of suffering in fear and doubt, it is time to lean on our beliefs and commit ourselves to the purpose and goals we have found in our life. Dr. McGonigal sees this as courage, interpreting the stress response as preparing our mind and body for action. There is nothing better to do with courage than press on towards the goals, beliefs, or values we have the most faith in. So, keep testing, exploring, and clarifying your faith. What do you really believe in? Forests Forest therapy is a growing field, accumulating scientific evidence for the stress relieving benefits many of us have felt throughout our life. The full rationale and protocol of sylvotherapy (forest therapy) is beyond the scope of this blog, however, I want to provide a sample that may encourage and inspire the reader to begin an immersive journey into reconnecting with nature as a positive stress response. Throughout my life I have instinctively sought out wild places; waterfalls, mountains trails, deep forests, deserted ocean beaches. These places just made me feel good…happier, peaceful, less stressed. It turns out these places are full of higher oxygen concentrations, negative ions created by moving water and growing plants, helpful soil bacteria, vibrant natural colors and textures, and often free from noise, light, and air pollution. I realized at one point that I had subconsciously created a protocol in which every 6 weeks I would seek an immersive weekend in nature as my stress management self-care routine. Stress was driving me “into the forest” where I was receiving physical and mental health benefits! Now, to be fair, I wasn’t just walking in the woods. I was applying therapeutic techniques and skills such as mindfulness, meditation, cognitive refocusing, and using all senses to connect with my natural surroundings. I have since taken up a course of study in forest therapy in order to become a certified guide for others to find the same health benefits that I find so sacred. A walk in the woods is still valuable (do it for at least 30 minutes) but there is a depth of mental health benefits from forest therapy that you can find on your own, or with a trained guide. Stress is harmful, but it is not inevitable. As Dr. McGonigal (2013) states, How you think and how you act can transform your experience of stress. When you choose to view your stress response as helpful, you create the biology of courage. Stress gives us access to our hearts. The compassionate heart that finds joy and meaning in connecting with others, and your pounding physical heart working hard to give you strength and energy! If you’re in a place of chronic stress, or have been hit hard by a stressful event, take a few minutes to watch my favorite Ted Talk, and reach out to a friend or a professional who can help you find the path less traveled, the oxytocin invitation to social bonding, courage, and even a happier mood! Jason Anderson, LMSW is a therapist at Restore Therapy Collective. Jason’s work stems from a desire to see people overcome personal barriers, form authentic relationships, and appreciate the beauty around them. Jason also has a deep love for using principles of forest therapy to bring people to new discoveries within themselves and foster a greater love for the natural world.

What Strong Couples Tend to Have in Common