New Year, New You

Bryan Wisdom, MDiv, MA, LLMFT

6 Tips for Making Your Resolutions a Reality

Why publish an article on New Year’s resolutions in February? Simple. February is the time we all start to fail and give up! 


The arrival of a new year often inspires us to make positive changes in our lives and relationships. From losing weight to quitting smoking to going on more dates, we make resolutions with the best of intentions. However, many of us struggle to keep these promises to ourselves and we find ourselves back at square one by February. If you’re ready to turn your resolutions into reality, read on for 6 tips that can help you make this the year you achieve your goals.


One: Turn Your Dreams into Goals


A dream is a wish or hope that you have. You may want it really really badly. But just because we want something doesn’t mean that we are going to get it! Take time to turn your dreams and resolutions into actionable goals. Try to figure out a way for those goals to be measured and tracked. Break them down so you can take small steps and mark progress and celebrate early wins.  


Two: Review Your Resolutions Every Day 


Here’s the rule: what gets attention, gets action. 


Pretty simple. If you forget it, you’ll miss it. So, review those resolutions often. Where will you keep the list to ensure you see it every day? 


Think about how you can narrow the gap between where you are today and where you want to be tomorrow. Then do it. 


Three: Create a Support System of Like-Minded People 


Goal-setters need other goal-setters for understanding and encouragement. There are at least 3 types of relationships that could be helpful to you:


  1. Peers: Who do you hang out with? How do you spend your social time? Can you cultivate friendships with people who will spur you on to action? A group of goal-setting and goal-communicating peers is a powerful thing. Even one is better than none. 
  2. Mentors: If you can find individuals who have already achieved things on your list, ask them for tips. What did they do that was helpful? What did they try that didn’t work? 
  3. Coaches: A life coach can help you create and work toward a plan of action for your personal resolutions. There are many life coaches out there, all you need to find one is a quick internet search. Look for a coach who has both training and experience—personally I prefer licensed therapists. Most coaches have some training, but the difference is therapists’ training met three levels of standards: the university graduate level program they completed, the state they were licensed in, and the profession to which they belong. By virtue of their profession, therapists also adhere to a higher standard of ethics, accountability, and confidentiality than non-therapist life coaches. Many therapists I know are trained in life coaching. 


Four: Increase Your Energy and Stamina 


You are more likely to achieve your personal goals if you have energy and endurance. Generally speaking, here’s what that means: 


  1. Eat healthier: Eating well is about balance, not about deprivation and starvation. Try to eat less sugary sweets, less processed foods, and as many whole foods as you can. I remind myself, “Mother Earth makes better food for me than humans do”. Oh, and eating healthy doesn’t have to be expensive. You don’t have to shop the most expensive grocery store or sign up for a health food delivery program. You can. But you don’t have to. 
  2. Exercise more by doing what you enjoy: Is there anything worse than trying to convince yourself you actually want to walk on a treadmill? When it’s cold, try skiing or snowboarding, ice skating, or—if you want to be inside—join a gym or an aquatics center. When it’s warm, get out in nature—try hiking, cycling, kayaking, or rock climbing; or, get social—find a group that plays soccer or basketball on Saturday mornings. Find what works for you. Are you a person who likes routine or variety? We don’t just exercise to lose weight; we exercise to improve our cardio and pulmonary function (heart and lungs), boost our mental health, and even purge toxins from our body by way of sweat. 
  3. Get the right amount of sleep: The ideal for the average adult is 7-8 hours per night. If something regularly impedes your sleep (sorry, not young children!), like sleep apnea, leg cramps, or an uncomfortable bed, make a plan to correct it. Your immune system suffers when you do not get enough sleep. Insufficient sleep can reduce the body’s production of protective cytokines, which are crucial in defending against infections!


Five: Reduce Stress in Your Life 


One of the best ways to reduce stress and anxiety is through traditional talk therapy. A therapist can help you create external strategies to reduce the number of stressors coming your way as well as internal strategies to manage those you simply must handle.


Another great idea, is to begin a journey of living more simply. I remember when I discovered The Power of Less by Leo Babauta back in 2008. If you haven’t read it, you should. 


Aside from living more simply, you can alleviate stress through practices such as deep breathing, yoga, socializing with friends, reading, journaling, expressing creativity in your preferred medium, or exercise.


Six: Expand Your Focus Time 


More time without demand or distraction allows you more time to pursue and achieve these resolutions. The primary ways to do this is are:


  1. Set healthier boundaries: Start with setting better boundaries around work and unhealthy relationships. If you are unfamiliar with this concept or need a refresher there are many great books, blogs, and podcasts on the subject. 
  2. Reduce your task load: I recommend killing it DEAD. The productivity concept of DEAD comes from another book I highly recommend: What’s Best Next by Matt Perman. The goal here is to reduce non-priorities so we can do what really matters. DEAD is (1) Delegate, (2) Eliminate, (3) Automate, and (4) Defer. 
  3. Minimize distraction: You will be amazed how much more productive and creative you’ll be if you can do this. Eliminate interruptions by turning off your phone, closing email, and minimizing the use of social media during your focused time. You’ll find that you’re able to complete tasks more efficiently and have a greater sense of accomplishment afterward.


Well, that’s it! 


If you need help, our team at Restore Therapy is here for you. Contact us at 616-228-9244 or submit a secure contact form to get scheduled with a Restore therapist today!

 



Bryan R. Wisdom, MDiv, MA, LLMFT is a therapist with Restore Therapy Collective (100% telehealth), and has been involved in helping work for 19+ years. His personal mission is the help others live authentically, make better decisions, develop healthier relationships, and adventure beyond impossible. He loves his wife and kids, counseling, learning, comedy, strategy board games, travel, and outdoor adventures.


Restore Therapy Collective

Doing the Reps: What Running Has Taught Me About Mental Health

By Jonah Maichele • April 20, 2026
As a runner, I’ve learned that progress rarely comes from a single run. Rather, it comes from doing the reps time and time again. Sometimes, it means long miles when my legs feel strong. Other times, it is dragging myself out the door when it’s still pitch black outside, and the temperature is well below freezing. Of course there have been plenty of mornings when the last thing I wanted to do was run (And there still are days I don’t want to). But over time, the runs that felt difficult or like a chore, slowly became part of my routine. Changing behavior and creating a routine often works the same way. Many people come into counseling hoping for a breakthrough moment and/or quick fix, where everything suddenly makes sense and life feels easier. These moments can happen, but lasting change more often comes from practicing new ways of thinking, responding, and caring for yourself over and over again. In other words, it comes from doing the reps. In running, a rep might be a mile repeat or a long training run. In mental health, the reps look different. They might be things like pausing before reacting in a difficult conversation, challenging a negative thought instead of automatically believing it, or practicing a coping skill when anxiety starts to rise. At first, these reps can feel awkward and uncomfortable. Just like starting a new training plan, the effort can feel heavy in the beginning. Our brains adapt in much the same way our bodies do. With each rep, new patterns start to take hold. That coping skill becomes more natural. The pause before reacting becomes easier. That difficult conversation becomes more manageable. Here are some reps you can give a try Drink a full glass of water when you wake up in the morning. Take five minutes before bed to simply focus on your breathing. Step outside for a short walk, even if it’s just around the block. Pause and take three slow breaths when you notice stress building. Write down one thing you’re grateful for at the end of the day. Remember! The goal isn’t perfection. It’s getting in the reps. Start with something small, even if it feels too easy. Some days the reps will feel easier than others. Some days they’ll feel heavy. Change tends to come from continuing to show up anyway. And eventually, the things that once felt difficult start to feel normal. That’s when real change begins to take hold.  Jonah Maichele is a counseling intern at Restore Therapy Collective. In his free time, Jonah enjoys running, playing guitar, and hammocking at the beach. His favorite foods include sushi, orange chicken, and his grandma’s specialty gnocchis.

Riding in Harmony: A New Way to Understand Your Emotions

By Morgan Peterson, LLMFT, LLPC • February 25, 2026
I so often hear things like, “I know I shouldn’t get angry, but I do,” or, “I get so anxious, and I should just let it go.” It’s a common refrain of things that should be done and ways we should behave. We talk about emotions as something to control rather than work alongside, but what would happen if we learned to work with our emotions rather than against them? Think of our emotions as a horse—they’re instinctual, reactive, powerful, and often rooted in survival mechanisms. Just like a horse, they can be strong and seemingly unpredictable. Now think of the rational part of ourselves as the rider of the horse; this is the part of us that plans, is logical, and tries to stay in control to lead us in deliberate direction. The goal isn’t to “break” the horse and give the rider total control, and the goal is also not to let the horse run wild. The goal is to build a relationship between the two. When the horse and rider work together in harmony, the journey is smooth. The horse provides energy and motivation while the rider offers direction and guidance. If the horse is too in charge, it might bolt with fear, anger, or desire, and this can lead us off trail. If the rider is too dominating, they may ignore signals from the horse until it erupts, or the horse is stifled to the point of low energy and lack of motivation. Therapeutic work often involves helping the rider understand and work with the horse by learning how to notice, respond to, and gently guide it. The goal isn’t control, but connection. It’s about building relationship between emotions and our rational selves to encourage understanding, respect, and resiliency within ourselves. We can listen to our emotions without being overwhelmed by them, and we can use our rational mind without it becoming a harsh inner-critic. Emotional regulation isn’t about silencing emotions, but learning to ride with them. Morgan Peterson, LLMFT, LLPC, is a therapist at Restore Therapy Collective. Morgan’s passion is helping people improve their relationships—with others and with themselves. When not in session, you can find her gardening, knitting, reading, or doing other “grandma” hobbies.

Child Therapy is Family Therapy

By Melanie Freeland, LLPC • November 3, 2025
There aren’t many more distressing ideas for parents than the thought of their child in emotional pain. Parents contact me often in a panic because they believe their child is struggling, and they feel as if they, as parents, are failing. That may be why it’s often surprising that the first direct question I ask at a parent consultation is, “How are YOU doing?” Children Don’t Exist in Isolation What brings a child to therapy is often a reflection of the distress the entire family system is experiencing. From the moment a child is born, their nervous system is shaped by things as seemingly minute as tone of voice and facial expressions. Stress experienced by parents and other caregivers does not go unnoticed. The difference with children is that they, developmentally, do not have the capacity to see themselves as separate from a caregiver’s stress, the boundaries haven’t been formed yet. Something as simple as a string of bad days at work for a caregiver can be interpreted by a child as a failing on their part. In other words, a child’s mental health is not just about their inner world, but about the “relational web” they are a part of every day. This ABSOLUTELY does not mean caregivers are ‘at fault’ for their child’s distress. It does mean that engaging in the therapy process and growing skills to model within the family system can be the biggest contributor to long-term therapeutic success. The Family as Co-Therapist; What does it mean to engage in the therapy process? Child therapists have different views on what constitutes best practice for parental involvement in therapy. Filial play therapists, who work with the entire family system (parents and kids at the same time) through play, have parents attend every session. Child-centered play therapists meet with parents separately on a regular schedule. Other child therapists may meet with parents for a few minutes during each session. There is no one correct model, but there are a few things to expect while working with your child’s therapist. Learning new skills : Identifying areas of difficulty (such as co-regulation, routines, or limit setting) and trying new strategies that work for the WHOLE family. Becoming situationally reflective, not self derogatory : Working toward a mindset of “What is my child communicating to me right now?” instead of “What am I doing wrong?” Growing in confidence and self-compassion : Internalizing the understanding that your job as a parent is not to solve every problem, but to help yourself remain regulated so that you can be with your child as they learn about the world around them. A Collaborative Journey The end goal of therapy for a child may not be for the child to be able to perfectly manage all situations. In fact, I would go so far as to say that SHOULDN’T be the end goal. Instead, working with a therapist to uncover what a child is bringing to the family system and finding ways to address the whole system can lead to faster and longer lasting therapeutic change. I challenge all parents to think of therapy for their child as a collaborative journey for the whole family, and find positive change for themselves in the journey as well. Melanie Freeland is a therapist at Restore Therapy Collective specializing in relational trauma and attachment. When she’s not with clients, she’s likely reading, baking, or spending time with her family. To schedule an appointment with Melanie, please send a secure message through our contact form .
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